SEXUAL HEALING or sexy cycling on the beach among the dunes…. DESTINATION: Polish Baltic Sea

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I’ve always had a problem with undressing. Where does it come from?

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Mr Sigmund Freud would say that it must be some childhood trauma. I can already imagine the session with me on the chaise lounge and the Austrian psychoanalyst sitting in his armchair, stroking his beard and trying to concentrate intensively on my „horny dilemma”

Fraulein Paulina 007 …sit down please and make yourself comfortable. What made you to come here? Fetish that you can’t get rid of? wild sexual desires?

Actually doc.. I’ve been reconsidering whether I should have a go and ..and …

Don’t suppress it dear!! You will make it worse!!

I’ve been thinking about nude beach. Is it OK to go there?

hm… that’s interesting – Professor scribbles something madly in his notes and decides to give me „free association test”

Fraulein Paulina 007 …answer without thinking.

I sit straight, a little nervous already. We are all afraid of being diagnosed as mad. But I can’t stop myself and decide to play a prank on the doc.

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Imagine … beach, sun, sand. what do you associate it with?

With sex, doc.

purring cat?

With the foreplay

let’s talk about your childhood now.

The doctor is on his territory.

Have you ever had a cat?

Yes…even a few doc..

What did you feel when it was cuddling ?

Well… I guess it was hungry or something.

I know. Bad answer!!!

Don’t analyse dear.  Answer immediately!!

All right doc. I liked it really. Kind of sensual experience I guess. Is it bad doc?

It’s very good my dear. It matches my theory perfectly.

Now I feel even more worried. What else will the doc come up with?!

Did you have a lot of female friends in your childhood?

Well…most of my friends were male – I admit shamefully.

Perfect match!! perfect match!! – the doc is thrilled. I’m scared to death. What’s the diagnosis gonna be?!

My early diagnosis is that …. you’re suppressing …homosexual inclinations my dear.

What!? That can’t be right doc!! I’ve been hanging out with the boys mostly, true..still

My research shows that homoerotic inclinations have its beginning in the oral phase, after which there’s ….

I want to know no more!!!! Although Sigmund continues his explanations for 5 painful minutes.

What’s the treatment for me doc? Is there a spark of hope somewhere? – my lips are shaking whilst I’m begging the doc to have mercy on me.

Well Fraulein Paulina 007…you need to visit the nudist beach, undress and see what happens. We’re seeing next Monday at 10 right?

I don’t want to confirm the meeting. There’s always a spark of hope. I could drown in the Baltic Sea and never again have to visit the doc.

 

Waves are crashing and seals are squeaking. Naked people all around me. Now it’s my turn.….

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What to take off first?! My shoulder and half of my hip is already bare. So I’ve made a first step. What’s next? Well…I need to take off my bra.

Come on 007 – Maurycy, my little devil, sent from hell to calculate all my sins, is having a great day. Mocking me has always been his biggest passion. – Remember what the doc said.

I want to forget Maurycy…

„Undressing completely will fight your inner demons”. – my little devil quotes the doc’s words mercilessly. He smirks and sips „Sex on the beach”. Whatever it’s inside the drink, he’s in a jolly mood.

I know my inner demons…they’re on my shoulder, mocking me and making my life even more colorful than it is…

Pff…I’m sure that the doc didn’t have me on his mind…Besides I’m a little gay myself.

Really Maurycy?!

There was such a trend in Greece… Remember I worked for the greatest…. Michelangelo  and Claudius Caesar …not like these days …– he sighs and shuts up.

I know! I will prove to my little devil that I’m very brave. I take off my clothes quickly without too much thinking.

Bra first. What’s the feeling? Honestly nothing special. Topless is not nude. Not yet.

Come on 007!! let’s see what „adventure” you really are.

NAKED as GOD (or Lucifer) made me I’m heading for the swim. And here comes the real adventure.

The temperature of the water on Hel (the best nude beach in Poland is called Chałupy and it’s located on Hel peninsula) is about 12 degrees at the beginning of June, 14 in Łeba, the official naturist beach.

It’s just ….damn cold!!! I forgot I’m naked. I’m too busy fighting with hipotermia.

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What’s the key word to nude beach culture?

COMPARING. WHO’S GOT THE BIGGEST. WHO’S THE FATTEST. WHO’S GOT THE BETTER TAN.

Oh yes!!! so who??

Definiately not me!  I’m neither fat nor rich in …curves. And I’m not tanned where I should be. Kind of obvious I’m here for the first time.

Cause I’m in Dębki today with 7 kilometeres long nude beach. Which is not true, by the way. The beach ends after one kilometre.

But the people are having so much fun …..

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to sum up my naked adventure ….

I’ve seen 68 naked guys and 30 naked women on three nudes beaches by the Baltic Sea. It’s only the beginning of June. 24 degrees in the air and about 13 in the water. You’ve got to excuse Polish naturists.

They will be storming the beaches in summer which is about to start here any moment. They won’t let you pass. They won’t forgive uneven tan. They will survive. That is what I’m sure of.

Cause naturist movement in Poland is well and kicking. My naked pics are the best proof. But I’m not gonna share it though. I’m saving them for Playboy;-))) which is gonna contact me any moment…

yes… I can’t live without joking somehow.

 

But the best part of the nude adventure is yet to come … cycling on wet sand.

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I’m standing on the beach sending an sms to doc. I did it!!! and I’m not gay! That is …I guess so..

The doc is just a tad disappointed. Not to say completely devastated. He replies quickly.

Still we need to come back to your childhood dear. Monday at 10:00 a.m.?

Sorry doc…the sea fascinates me. And the dunes….I won’t make it.

But I’m very happy. Actually not that I’ve undressed myself so easily. But that I’ve taken my bike on this journey and now I can ride on the wet sand and among the dunes. Which is more difficult than having sex on the nude beach. Which is strictly forbidden by the way…

I mean sex not riding a bike…

Dunes are amazing. It’s as if you walk on the moon. Słowiński National Park is stunningly beautiful. Almost completely empty today.

Just like the moon, probably. Although I’m not completely certain about that.

How does it feel to ride on the dunes?

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Your legs are struggling a lot. Your lungs are filled with the sea breeze. It’s difficult but it’s ecstatic. My trekking bike wanna be fat. Veery fat.

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The dunes live. They change shapes and mood. Sometimes they even talk.

007- ..the distant voice comes somewhere from the underground. It seems that the hell has finally got me …

I’m here 007…Goddammit!! get me out!!

Oh Lord!! That’s Maurycy who drowned in the sand and now is trying to get out.

I’m rescuing Maurycy. He shakes off the last sand grains, jumps on my shoulder and makes me carry him for the next 30 kilometres.

30 kilometres along Słowiński National Park beaches is a sheer struggle. Not only with the loose patches of sand, but also with the desire to stay here a little longer…

Possibly forever…

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HAS BECOMING A NUDIST CHANGED ME? Probably just a little bit

HAS CYCLING ON THE DUNES HELPED ME? OH! It did….an exhilarating, mystical experience that is very difficult to forget

Hey!! back on earth Paulina 007..I have a sand even in my ….– Maurycy is wriggling and trying to get rid of the white powder.

Nope…I didn’t mean drugs. Maurycy has seen too many smugglers in Ukraine. He’s afraid to lose his teeth.

Yes, me too, dear. I’ve got sand in my ….. – the wind has taken away my words. So you will never get to know where;-)

Pull yourself together 007. Morocco is waiting.

What?!

No spoiler though. The director would kill me.

You mean ….- the words got stuck in my throat. Somehow I can’t imagine that either God or Mr Lucifer are devoting time to design my adventures. Although…

Don’t flatter yourself Paulina 007. I meant their assistants. Or assistants of the junior assistants. …damn it!!!

What’s the matter my poor devil? Sand is still irritating your intimate zones? – I’m asking sarcastically. But I’m not listening to his answer. All my thoughts are turning to Morocco…

what hair-rising adventures may I have there?!

Time will tell….

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2 Comments

  1. I bet doc wasn’t expecting your trusty bike to show up on your beach trip, and I bet he knew there was no convincing you to come back once you got a taste of riding among the wet sand and dunes! Job well done 007! Now off to your next adventure…

    Polubione przez 1 osoba

    1. poor doc;-) must be a tough job to be a shrink! I even wanted to be one;-) but then I spoke with some clients who are and I decided it’s a crazy idea…however I could be a life coach or sth hehe;-) best regards and have a nice day!!!!!!!!!

      Polubienie

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