DOLCE VITA or HAUNTED ITALY?

 

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ITALY … IS IT ONLY ABOUT HAPPY PEOPLE, DOLCE VITA AND SUNNY DAYS?

Is it like on the video which caught my eye in August last year? After watching it, I sold my TV;-), packed up and hit the road. It took me two days to reach my destination. Umbria in Italy. And this is where the adventure started.

In a lovely town of Bevagna….

 

007!! – Maurycy got hot under the collar again. He can’t stand my sins any longer. It’s too much even for the devil.

Especially as he was sent to me from hell with a mission to monitor my sinful life.

What’s the matter? Are you so jealous that I didn’t take you to Italy last year? Well…got to excuse me. I didn’t know you then.

It’s not about that, Paulina 007. Do you wanna all these ancient ruins to fall down?!

Pff….I really don’t think Italian towns suffered so much because of my „bike cruising”…..

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I’m not so sure actually but I say no more. There was no entry sign. True. But the police officers just waved at me saying “Ciao figa”.

By the way, do you know what does “figa” in Italian mean? 😉

Well..it is supposed to mean either “nice girl” or ….can’t tell you 😉 you’ve got to google it yourself.

Oh…and you’ve been riding vespa…in my favourite colour….– Maurycy’s eyes are glittering and his mouth is wide open. He’s fascinated by my last year Italian adventure…

I can’t blame my poor little devil. He’s got some roots in sunny Italia. All the perversies were invented there after all.
SIGHTSEEING is so lovely, true. But that’s not the reason why I ended up in Italy. I’m here to face Apennine Mountains….

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Look!! Just like in Australia or …….in Tasmania at my cousin’s place!!!! – Maurycy is getting more and more excited with every single picture.

What?! Are you out of your mind, my little assistant? Australia?!

Just look at this deserted wasteland, burning heat and …emptiness…

Maurycy is right actually. During afternoon hours of unbearable heat (34-42 degrees Celsius) you won’t meet a living soul there.

Except me, of course…

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Especially in “after earthquake zone”. Abandoned villages and ruined houses. The mother nature took its toll the year before.

At least there are no bushfires – sums up Maurycy pretty philosophically.

There are none, true. Cause what could burn down there? Weird white cows? The leftovers of the forests mercilessly cut up  by the farmers long time ago?!

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Well Maurycy… But there are olive orchards and granate trees…Look at this place. Collemancio. Lonely village with a stunning view on Assisi.

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And there is wine. Actually one of the best I’ve ever drunk. It’s called Sagrantino and it’s produced on the unique Umbrian hills. They even make delicate pastries in this flavour!;-)

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There are loads of narrow streets. Veeery narrow. I’m trying to squeeze in without annoying anybody. Actually it’s impossible to make somebody angry here. They smile and apologize me even when I knock them down with me bike.

Niente, niente – they nod politely rubbing the place where my bike dabbed at them

I look at them suspiciously. Are they stoned or drunk?! They should be shouting at me, calling police and threatening me with revenge! That is what would happen in Poland at least. Yes…I haven’t heard Polish language for two weeks…

K………, gdzie jest ten zasrany most?! [Where the fuck is this shitty bridge?]

As soon as these words reach my ears I start regretting that I missed Poland. But thanks to this lovely conversation I found the bridge at least. And other architectural perils….;-)

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Bridge in Spoletto, Umbria.

Hey…What is she alien on the graffitti doing?! – Maurycy has just found his favourite spot – Isn’t she …w…ing  herself or something?!

Yes…probably – I burst out laughing cause it really looks like that.

But…007 ..which town is that? – Maurycy looks pretty fascinated skimming through the next set of pictures.

Ah…that’s Orvieto from VIII century or something … amazing place pretty close to Rome.

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Suddenly Maurycy guffaws with delight and spills the glass of Sagrantino on my new carpet.

What’s the matter my devil? – I clench my teeth. Somehow I know he’s not gonna clean it.

Maurycy is rolling on the floor laughing and spilling more of the precious Sagrantino. Have I already told him it’s endemic?!

When he finally stops his mad laugh, he reveals to me what made his day…

you ..with your bike …on this cobblestone road…your ass….

Actually this wasn’t the toughest part Maurycy … the steep climb around Lake Trasimeno almost knocked me down with the 38 degrees in the air….

eh…in hell we have even over 40 ….- Maurycy is not able to appreciate my devotion.

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But ….TALKING ABOUT HELL AND UNDERWORLD.

The best part of the adventure is gonna come. The place where my future started

Parco Fluviale del Nera Cascate delle Marmore

Amazing place. Green and full of waterfalls. With an icy cold Lago di Piediluco

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But still it’s not enough for me. I spot the village on the hill…

The thin voice in my head is yelling at me to climb there. I have no choice then.

The ascent is steep and tiring. 500 metres up in blazing heat to sightsee?! Does it make any sense.

As soon as I arrive there, I understand.

The small town is divided into three levels. I leave my bike on the lowest one and climb up to the highest.

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The surrounding silence is a little worrying. Narrow, creepy corridors. Not a living soul. Where are the citizens?! Google informed me that there are over 300 people living here.

Why have they all suddenly disappeared?


I reach the highest level. The silence is even more profound here. Except for the whistling. Where does it come from?

HELLO PAULINA. Sit down, dear. I’m Pablo.

I’ve told you that the town seemed a tad creepy, haven’t I? 😉

Do we know each other? – I ask suspiciously.

well.. I can see you’re looking for something dear…

Wondering how he could have spotted that. Pablo is blind in one eye. The other one is blinking rapidly. The sun is evidently hurting the old man’s eyes.

He’s not a beggar though. His fancy, spotlessly clean suit suggests that somebody must be taking care of him.

Probably you’ve already noticed that I’m blind. But I can see a lot actually. I can see you future – he closes his second eye and smiles mysteriously.

Are you a fortune teller Pablo? – I giggle nervously. After all, he DID GUESS my name.

You’ll lose 12 kilos, start numerous social media, buy an MTB bike, sign up for latino dances, become nudist, get chased by bears in Romania….

Sounds like a scenario of an action movie, Pablo. – I shake my head in disbelief. Poor old man!!!

That’s not everything dear … – I stand up and walk away slowly. I could hear the old man behind me wheezing and spitting with a cascade of saliva. – You’ll gonna write about it. Make reportage from your life and post it on …..

I’d never do that, dear Pablo.

And a devil who’s gonna haunt you for a long time, is going to help you in that, Paulina.

Yeah, right …- I smirk and spit as well. Maybe it’s some kind of a way to survive the old days?! Fantasize about crazy Polish blondies?!

Well.. you owe me 100 euros dear. – Pablo is back on earth. Actually 007 as well….

WHAT?! – whether self-fulfilling or not, the prophecy seems a little too expensive.

I tiptoe quietly towards the nearest corridor leading down. I’m trying to escape my future. Or rather the payment for it.

10 months later I know that Pablo was a real prophet. Not a false one. I should have given him this 100 euros…

007…- Maurycy looks at me expectantly – did Pablo say anything about Gypsies?!

What Gypsies Maurycy? – I stop breathing for a moment, terrified and shocked.

Cause soon you’re gonna end up chasing them. Did you know that, your poor soul?

I press my hands to my ears. It’s better not to know everything….

 

if you wanna get to know your future…here is where you can find Labro….;-))

 

GOOD LUCK!!!

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